Finally, a new cycle.

Took a while of NPC (natural progesterone cream) and upping the dosage of it, but FINALLY I got my period! Sad that that makes me happy, eh?

It also made me excited because this is the first cycle that I get to use my new cloth pads. Oh man, they are so comfy. So much better than disposable pads. We'll see if I'm still saying that when it comes time to launder them, but I don't see it being too difficult.

Cloth pad instructions HERE

Hair, hair everywhere...

It seems like I am always in need of a wax. I have hair everywhere, and it makes me feel so gross. It wasn't that bad a few years ago, but I think the fact that I've gained so much weight greatly contributed to my PCOS symptoms, and made the hair growth worse.

I of course have the hair under my chin, a little on my big toes, and some on my upper lip. Lucky me!

I finally started waxing, and I am glad I did. It makes me feel a little better, and I don't have to do it constantly. Much better than trying to tweeze it. Frankly, there is now way too much hair to make tweezing a viable option.

I feel very fat.

Seriously. I have gained so much weight in the last couple of years. I am damn near 240 pounds, and that is way too high. It makes me feel unattractive.

I KNOW I need to lose the weight, but I struggle. With the dizzy spells and seizures (which I haven't been having lately that I know of) make me scared to exercise by myself, especially outside. Taking a long walk or going for a jog could be dangerous, especially since there are no sidewalks around here. And then I say things like that, and I feel like I'm justifying my lazy behavior or just making excuses, even though I've had "episodes" when I'm alone.

We did buy a pool, and I actually have gotten in a few times in the last week and done some exercises. The problem is that only works when the weather is nice, and I can get over to my moms.

I can't wait to start going to the gym. I hate feeling like this. I hate looking in the mirror and being disgusted with myself. I have NEVER been this large. I HATE it. So much. I have to do something, and now.

Wordless Wednesday- What Infertility looks like, pregnancy test edition.

Blood Sugar

I think I have an issue with letting my blood sugar get too low. I'm just not always hungry, or I get hungry once a day and don't really feel like eating the rest of the day. Or I'll "graze", eat little things here and there.

Maybe I should start keeping track of my blood sugar numbers. I have no idea if I have insulin resistance, but diabetes and hypoglycemia run in my family. No idea how often you should test if you have PCOS, I guess that's more research I need to do.

I've just been reading so many different things lately, I feel like my brain is getting full.

I thought about taking pictures of the areas where I have PCOS symptoms (excess hair, hair loss, acne, Anthracosis Nigricans, etc.)as a sort of "base line"- it's where I am at right now. Something to look back at and compare to. Will it help? I don't know. Maybe. We shall see.

Now if only I could find my camera.

"Are you pregnant?"

No. No, I am not pregnant. I have certain people that when I say I haven't had a period for a while the first thing out of their mouth is "are you pregnant"? Even with me explaining that I am probably going to have to have fertility treatments in order to get pregnant. Even when I explain what PCOS is and what it does to my body. It's quite frustrating.

K is getting there. We had a long talk, and he thinks that if I just lose a little weight I'll get pregnant right away. I've tried explaining to him that it isn't going to work that way. Yeah, it will help. It isn't a magical cure.

We discussed a 6 month plan. In a couple of weeks (he refuses to do it any sooner because I might possibly get a job, which is really pissing me off) I am going to start going to the gym. Then, come January, I am going to go to an RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist)and start the process. We have to be married for me to use his insurance (obviously) and that hasn't happened yet, so we will see.

Vlog #1